round

seriously. im confuse.
the words are there. but the action are just winds blowing in the air.
angry, furious, mad, pissed and epic disappointed.
please. do something before a decision has been made.

last decision.

well, this would be my last post. i think.
i have no heart in this anymore.

just a few feeling that being kept inside of me need to be let it out.

things has been bad. hugely bad. day by day by day.
i cant seem to stop it this time.
im leaving. everything.
im sorry. but its an upper disappointment.
please let me be alone. im fixing my life. so bug off.

sayang, i love you.
remember this. it will never stop and its a promise i shall keep hold it forever. trust me.
we have done alot of things. whatever happens in the future.
i'll try not to put you in the worse situation ever.
your the one keeping me smiling.
i cant seem to find other things that amuse me.
owh, missing eating meatballs with you.
hahaha. love you.get well soon keyh! (:

maybe this is my life, not sticking or holding up to anything,
im just a person who settle himself till satisfied and thats enough.
college its starting soon. and i need to chill. gaaah.

i've being replaced. and thrown out.
plans are there, but seem can't be kept happening.
and i was blame for the things i can't help not to do. which is getting sick.
the worse part is NO ONE understands me.
this thanks goes to a senior of mine. thanks for the talk. (:

maybe this time there is no silver lining on my clouds.
it could be a lessons for things i had done.
im sorry, and thanks for the memories.

my last word. goodbye. ( ':

*leaving out the door*

this is what i call forgetting.

hey. seriously i really hope you two are reading this.
hahaha. since im ignoring both of you its a bliss for me (:
cause ignorance is a bliss.
well, replacing me just made two of you look horrible.
maybe thats what im thinking. well too bad. its my thoughts.
let me think my way.
all i have to say is. when im gone. i'll be gladly to leave. (:
cause have you people is just making me wonder and more stress.
maybe you should put your huge egos and ask yourself.
or maybe should just keep quite and ask me.
i'll be happier to say it in you fucking face. owh yeah (:

well thats all for now. hope have you annoying life well it last.

p/s. pavilion is like so not my place. but yet everyday im there =/ and i love you sayang! (:

words

bodoh bodoh bodoh bodoh!
haihhh.
currently stress with my family.
guessing my love just went to bed.
well, i need to let it out somehow. hmmmm

well, lately she's being really stinge. i like come on.
im your freaking son! tuh pon nak kedekut.
last time. you asked me to choose between you or dad.
i choose you. everything was going great when i found out that, everything was the same.
being blame for everything. when it not even my fault.
saying im wrong and stupid for everything that i did right.
scream at me when it was all them who started first.

i was sick of that. some more it was on my 17th birthday. my freaking SPM year.
i ran out. making my decision as a man. moving to live a better life.
you keep pressuring them to ask me to stay here.
you threaten me. you promise me A LOT of things.

you said that, if you stay here.
i have my siblings. which we'll get in that later.
i have all of this luxury and all.

in the end what i got is the same.
i got bullied, scream, blame, and for pain full.
what do you want from me.
you told me to study here. i did.
i sacrifice everything. all im asking just to take care me properly.
in some of my own term. you gave me the promise.
make it happen.='/

my siblings its another problem.
the other day was my brother birthday.
he had plan to go out for dinner.
i was thinking. why should i?
when the grow up.
they had parties. and all
i had more misery. and even more.
and now his mad cause i ruin his plans.
like you never ever ruin my dreams uh?
i could being better by now!
owh, all my blood lost and blood vomiting and blood cough.
was cause by you, remembered when i was small.
you slam one whole box full of DVR tape on my head.
its the cause. thanks. 

i dont know what to do.
i need to go out and be free.
independent. but by doing this.
i might be postponing my studies.
i miss studying. =/

monday

well lets see, things are going crazy. like seriously.
i have no idea at the moment what to blog. hmmm

HAS was awesome i guess. did the thing that i've always wanted. weeee

Charity dinner i look good. hahha

owh and its 19 more days till you know what.
15 more days till paramore.
and also you know what. hahaha

p/s. missing my friends. and everyone =/ wish i dont have problems with them.

haters.

gaaaah. I have haters and lovers. not to forget those stalkers which makes me amused every time =D
you people are the reason why I laugh. hahaha. random fact.

hhahaha. last night I went out for movie. like alone. funny uh?
yes I know. but sitting in a huge room with big screen and two large drinks of coke just made it better.
today i felt smiling again. but how long will it last?
well, whatever it is I'm smiling again.

owh owh, one thing that doesn't amused me at all.
when your pissed, I'm the victim.
when I have no idea of things, and then i asked. you'll get pissed.
you people think I'm you fucking punching bag is it?
no more I guess. once you get mad at me for stupid reasons.
I'll do things that will make you more hard to control on the situation your having.
owh yeah!

p/s. stalkers amuse me. but yet sometimes, they annoyed me. most of all they creep me out. and yet I still love them =D

make it short

it has been 18 days I left my blog.
Stalkers a complaining. haha my baaad.

Raya pictures has posted on facebook. thanks abg man!
facebook have been really quite. hmmm
but people are getting alot of hint I guess. I mean a lot of it! owh yeah!

raya was okaay. somehow i manage to get rich.
then again, sometime i just need to care.
why must I always care! this is bad! =/

its has been a month now. gaaah. I can believe but yet its true.
I love you! heee
maybe I should not let her a secret anymore uh?
its time to tell. heee.

p/s. thanks for the Paramore tickets. I'm so gonna do something better.

smooth

seriously, something is off with me at the moment.
was trying to figure out whether I miss her that much.
or must it be the season i got pissed again and again and again.
who would be next to disturb me =/
not good.

suddenly from cranky to sleepy to full with food then went to crazy end up hyper now pissed.
what the hell. seriously.
guessing doesn't have to do with her. haihh.

OMFG! damn. now I fucking know why.
is the freaking Raya. shall we go to the past?
hahaha. this is the time where we get school holidays
now? I have to work for fucking full shift for the next 6 days! hell!
this is where my mom would invited me(or I keep bugging her) to bake cakes and cookies.
honey cornflakes last time was like 6 or more tins full. now? less kot.
this year tak buat lagi kot. hmmmm. and raya is like 4 more days.
this is the time where we all started to pack to go balik kampung together.
Roadtrip. now? nomore kampung =/
no more roadtrip.
there's more. but I'll let it all out slowly.

to be honest I miss the past.
everything. everysingle fucking things!
gaaaah. raya? not good. =/

I'm messed up again. thats not good.

p/s.2 more fucking days! horaaaay! =D

sleeep

currently I'm getting bored of this.
have no idea what I'm bored of anyways. hahaha
well ramdahan started few weeks backs and its another 5 more days till Raya.
I mean come on! its Raya. not feeling it uh? haha. must be the past then.

let's move on.
this year I have to work will Raya. like damn.
6 straight days of working full shift. hell no =/

still figuring if i want to do open house this year.
cause like my mom I'm working got no time and all.
I'll find my time.

gaaah! I'm rcrapping. I have no idea what I"m walking about. ahahaha
chow people! =/

p/s. can't wait for wednesday. =D

Beggin'

I've start working in Baskin Robbin's Shah Alam again =/
guessing my life will stuck there forever.
hahaha. come to think of it I prefer to stay home better.
since staying home can go out more with friends and hang more with her. hehe
dah la sekarang dia tgh study break. like damn.
I'll be busy with work while she's will be home waiting for me to go out with her. haha.
or maybe she would better be at home sleeping =/

hahaha. seriously, working in baskin made me think of all those memories we had.
Kak Tusy, Kak Dyan, Kak Malissa, Kak Zue, Kak Zarina, Zaim, Haris, Zaim Haris, Ayn, Elyna, Shafiq, Pak Li, Paan, Pian, Aznif and Azim. this 31st will be much boring without them. damn it!

well, tomorrow going out for buka puasa with Teri, Sya, Dana, Mkit, Casey and Sasa. the usual geng!hahaha
owh yeah! more spending time together! =D i likeeeee.

p/s. I've miss you so much! can't wait to see you soon. I'm guessing everybody knows that we are in a Relationship! no more hiding =D

letters

well, life has being better! =D
friends family and all.
thanks for the entertainment and enjoyment that we've spend time together.
sounds like I'm going some where uh? lalalala.

it has been Official! =D
hahaha. words a spreading the way I want it for the first time.
want to know. wait for it. let it be mysterious for a moment.

anyway, these past few days I've done a lot of things.
went for 12 hours St John duty in Monash University. and it was awesome! hahaha

went out with my three friends. Khalisa, Liyana and Shaizwan.
went KLPAC then Jalan TAR. after that we went buka puasa in Midvalley.
it was terrific. =D
thats all I guess.if there's more I'll update soon! see you later ; )

p/s. its gonna get more exciting after this!

days

today i went out AGAIN! like omygosh! thats bad!
well, what did i do. hmmmm. woke up in the morning. then gave Teri a wake up call like more the 4 times.
hahaha. your a heavy sleeper. grrr. then went to her house pick her and send her to college.
since my dinner plans with her got cancel which i don't mind. i got nothing else to do.
decided not to go back cause wasting of petrol. its freaking expensive!

then I headed to Sunway Pyramid. alone. now that is lifeless. hahaha
gave Khalisa a call and Shahizwan too. decided to bukak puasa with them.
text Dana saying that I'm not able to hang with them. maybe next time?! haha 
went Tangs with K since I want to return my uniform. and I did! yeay me!
went Ikea at Mutiara Damansara and we ate Meatballs. now my craving for it its gone. thank god!
then after berbuka we headed home since got not much plans. drop them off.
after that I went to Teri's and pick her up again. and spend time with her.
hahaha thanks people for the day! =D

p/s. I love you!

something more

breath in, breath out. haha.
well, today I woke up late again and it felt goood! haha
went to pick up Teri at her college again =D
then went see sasa and dana. hang and chilling.
then its time to go back! haha

on my way back, I was tempted to go Empires because of Red Velvet cake and friends in Tangs. hahaha
gaaah. I have to pay for the freaking parking now =/ me don't likey likey. RM3 per hour. damn
well, it was worth it for my red velvet and friends.

today buka puasa mom cooked fried rice.
I noticed that if you buy food, confirm won't be able to finish it up.
but when someone else cook, surely finish in a split second. haaha.
mom! we should cook again. haha

p/s. another day with you again would be greater.
      you look beautiful as ever.

stalk

You people stalk too much. hahaha.
and please pay up for the lines you all have being using. hahaha.
but hey, keep stalking. I like it this way =D

drugs

wooow, now thats full. today had KFC, yoong tau fau, otak otak and few other more.
hahaha. tomorrow gonna be one saving budget day.
no buying stuff at bazaar. damn.
hmmm, tomorrow i have to go pick my lovely watch in seksyen 14.
and its freaking expensive just to repair.
well I do have a lot of memories with it right.

went to baskin to ask for a job. I guess I'll go back there since its nearer and suitable for =/
what other choice I've got. haaha.

nothing much for today. farewell. =D

p/s. i like the way you smile every time you with me.

home

I think I'm gonna just keep crapping with this blog.
the one before was emo-ish then it was lovey-ish. now life-ish. haha
alrighttt. =D

went out with Dzul, Farah and Ilana to Ben-D at seksyen 7. haha
it was crazyy! well, thanks guys for making me feeling a bit better.
more crazy plans with them soon!

sooo, what will I do today? hmm
since I'm freaking free right. haha
well, now I have more time for her. if she needs me la kan. hahaha
need to do something and no one is helping?
I'm free. the charge is you have to pick me up from Shah Alam. cause petrol is expensive now. hahaha
and I'm lazy to drive my freaking yellow manual car! haha

p/s. I can just keep talking and hanging with you everyday long. cause I feel free with you. and do stop with the truth serum. hahaha

epic craving

went to bazaar Ramadhan in Stadium Shah Alam today with my bro. heee
main aim was the sup bihun which usually sell at SS3 Mosque every Friday for Friday prayers. haha
it was a failure =/ instead I bought nasi lemak kukus and yoong tau fou. haha. it was delicious! damn
and I'm so not going there again. freaking pack with people(saya rasa rimas) and the road was fully of cars which makes people who drive manual wanna just scream. haha =D

well, I've stop my work at Tangs Empire today. it was my last day anyway.
whats the purpose if I stay the whole day right? hahaha.
I everybody was like giving me the sad face and I was like
"chill la. bukan nye tak boleh calling. kalau nak lepak ke, vacation ke or anything nombor ada kan. haha."
but yeah, the people there all was freaking sad. I have the feeling if I go it makes no different.
well, lets just see.

p/s. enjoy and have fun tonight =D
and yeah, freaking scared. but whatever it gonna be, it will never die! trust me

Refresh

haha. feel like re-doing my blog. and I did! haha damn.
things are going ups and down. =/
when it gets better, the guilt came in.
when it gets worst, decision finalize it.
hmmm. I'm crapping again.
well, at least I manage to keep few of my promises.
and I manage to do something just to make me feel happy.

well its time for me to put my decision into actions!
and pray that regret won't come and bug me. hahaha.

hey, one more thing. Happy Puasa! =D

p/s. i love you.