words

bodoh bodoh bodoh bodoh!
haihhh.
currently stress with my family.
guessing my love just went to bed.
well, i need to let it out somehow. hmmmm

well, lately she's being really stinge. i like come on.
im your freaking son! tuh pon nak kedekut.
last time. you asked me to choose between you or dad.
i choose you. everything was going great when i found out that, everything was the same.
being blame for everything. when it not even my fault.
saying im wrong and stupid for everything that i did right.
scream at me when it was all them who started first.

i was sick of that. some more it was on my 17th birthday. my freaking SPM year.
i ran out. making my decision as a man. moving to live a better life.
you keep pressuring them to ask me to stay here.
you threaten me. you promise me A LOT of things.

you said that, if you stay here.
i have my siblings. which we'll get in that later.
i have all of this luxury and all.

in the end what i got is the same.
i got bullied, scream, blame, and for pain full.
what do you want from me.
you told me to study here. i did.
i sacrifice everything. all im asking just to take care me properly.
in some of my own term. you gave me the promise.
make it happen.='/

my siblings its another problem.
the other day was my brother birthday.
he had plan to go out for dinner.
i was thinking. why should i?
when the grow up.
they had parties. and all
i had more misery. and even more.
and now his mad cause i ruin his plans.
like you never ever ruin my dreams uh?
i could being better by now!
owh, all my blood lost and blood vomiting and blood cough.
was cause by you, remembered when i was small.
you slam one whole box full of DVR tape on my head.
its the cause. thanks. 

i dont know what to do.
i need to go out and be free.
independent. but by doing this.
i might be postponing my studies.
i miss studying. =/